MOVING IN

Yesterday Cob and I checked in to our new apartment. There was nothing wrong with it, but it just didn’t feel like home. Today I brought a few decorations and set them up so they would be there when he got there. It made me so happy! I can’t wait to live here!

FEAR

“To not take counsel from our fears simply means that we do not permit fear and uncertainty to determine our course in life, to affect negatively our attitudes and behavior, to influence improperly our important decisions or to divert or distract us from all in this world that is virtuous, lovely, or of good report. To not take counsel from our fears means that faith in the Lord Jesus Christ overrules our fears and that we press forward with a steadfastness in Him. To not take counsel from our fears means that we trust in God’s guidance, assurance, and timing in our lives. I promise each of us can and will be blessed with direction, protection, and lasting joy as we learn to not take counsel from our fears.”
David A. Bednar

BACK TO REALITY

The moment I got back from South Carolina yesterday, I felt stressed. Not just about the wedding or the state of my bedroom (one word: DISASTER), but stressed about all the random roles and responsibilities I am trying to take on right now. I’m learning to design blogs and I have a client waiting for progress on that. I’m trying to finish my internship hours before I get married and I have a professor waiting for my report. I’m working as the marketing designer for an amazing dance performance coming in February and I have a client who wants to meet with me every day and evaluate my work. On top of that, I just got an email from my old boss who wants a logo designed, I’m moving into my/our new apartment on Wednesday, I’m preparing to go through the temple, and my parents are going to Europe for 2 weeks and I’m babysitting! Can you see why I feel so overwhelmed!?!?

Clearly, I have too much going on in my life right now. I need to find a better balance between the good things and the better things, and eliminate the things that don’t fit. I read this talk by Elder Ballard that helped me put things in perspective. He said, “Brothers and sisters, we all face these kinds of [life] struggles from time to time. They are common human experiences. Many people have heavy demands upon them stemming from parental, family, employment, church, and civic responsibilities. Keeping everything in balance can be a real problem.” Here is his advice:

1. Think about your life and set your priorities. I know that the gospel is my first priority, and that Cob and my marriage are part of that. Developing my professional skills is also a priority, because I’ll be done with school soon, and I want to find a job that helps me develop my talents and makes me happy.

2. Set short-term goals that you can actually reach. I’m going to receive my endowment soon, and I have some short-term goals associated with that event. As far as professional goals go, I think I need to be more realistic with myself and what I can accomplish. I’m going to talk to my parents tonight and really think about giving up my responsibilities as the marketing designer for that dance performance.

3. Budget your needs and your wants and find financial security. This is something I feel pretty good about. I have been working hard this summer to save money so that Cob and I won’t be destitute when we get married. I’ve been on top of paying my tithing and I know we’ll be ok.

4. Stay close to your spouse and family. Another thing I have no trouble with. Spending time with the people I love really helps me forget about the stress I have in my life.

5. Read the scriptures. I am making scripture study a real priority in my life and it has been such a blessing. I feel calm and empowered when I read the scriptures. I know that if I will spend time in the scriptures each day, I will have strength to do everything that is in front of me. I can always pray for strength, too.

6. Don’t let your physical needs get overlooked. I have been SO BAD at this lately, and I’m going to try and be better about it. Not being tired and hungry all the time will help me to accomplish the things I need to.

7. Family Home Evening. My immediate family has always been good about having family home evening, but I haven’t been participating as much this summer.

8. Pray. I really believe in the power of prayer. Prayer works! I know that if I ask Heavenly Father to help me with all the things I have going on, he will help me. He will make me stronger and smarter and more successful than I could ever be on my own. I don’t have to deal with these things on my own.

Elder Ballard says, “Just do the very best you can each day. Do the basic things and, before you realize it, your life will be full of spiritual understanding that will confirm to you that your Heavenly Father loves you. When a person knows this, then life will be full of purpose and meaning, making balance easier to maintain.” It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed with all the things we have going on. I have to constantly remind myself not to give up on life and to dig a little deeper. We’re so good at filling our lives with junk but we need to make room for the light.

Love, Rebecca

FAMILY

This week I have been in South Carolina with Cob's family. It was really hard for us to be apart while I was in Mexico, so I was really looking forward to being together during this family vacation. Cob has a fair amount of relatives that live on the East coast, and it was fun to get to know them, too.

We stayed in a beautiful hotel right on Myrtle Beach, and we spent all day everyday going back and forth between the ocean and the pool, then showering off before having family dinner. Because I have known Cob for a long time, I already felt pretty comfortable with his family, I even knew some of his extended family fairly well. But after spending a week with them, I can honestly say that I love them as much as my own family. I love the way they never yell at each other and the way they can never make a decision because they're all so easy going. I love how healthy his mom is and how much they pamper baby Lily. In the important things (love, faith, devotion) they're just like my own family, but in personality, they are totally different.

I think that is one of the most exciting things about getting married--not only is it the opportunity to bring someone new into your family, but you get a whole new family of your own! You get another brother and sister, another mom and dad, another grandmother and grandfather. I love Cob’s family so much. I can’t wait to make them mine officially. Here’s some pictures from our trip!

OUR STORY

I have the special privilege of marrying the most wonderful person in the world in exactly one month. I know love stories are cheesy but Cob is one of the greatest sources of light in my life and I want to document some of our past while it’s still fresh in my mind.

*Disclaimer: I know it’s long. I didn’t split it up because I wanted to be able to read everything at once. I’ll try to categorize things so you can skim.

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Cob (Short for Jacob) and I met in sixth grade, when he transferred to Morningside Elementary where I was. We went to different junior highs and met again when we got to Olympus High School. I knew I wanted to us to date way before he did because I saw his older brothers in the high school musicals and I thought they were soooooooo cute. I think I even told my older brother Andrew that if Cob looked anything like his older brothers, I wanted to marry him. I had no idea that would actually happen!

HIGH SCHOOL
We started dating officially about halfway through our junior year of high school and we never really stopped. We knew that we were young so we tried to keep our relationship casual and still maintain friendships with other people, but it was hard. We really liked each other! We would walk to my house together for lunch every day and he would eat Gogurts and Dino Nuggets and I would make Cream of Wheat. He drove me home from school everyday, even though sometimes I protested because I liked walking. We were in the all the musicals and choirs together and we drove to Disneyland for Concert Choir tour and we cuddled on the bus and I thought it was the most romantic thing in the world. As we grew older, we talked vaguely about marriage and our future together, but we were both scared to make definite plans or promises when there was so much that could change.

IN BETWEEN
The summer after our senior year, Cob got his mission call to the Czech, Prague Mission, speaking Slovak. Because I was heading to BYU in the fall and he was leaving in November, we talked about breaking up when I went to school so that his mission would be an easier transition. The night before I left for Provo, we agreed that we were no longer dating, just friends. We separated in tears. I’ve never felt so devastated in my life. The “breakup” only lasted until about noon the next day, when I texted him and told him how awful I felt. Even thinking about it now makes me sad because knowing that we still loved each other but we couldn’t be together was so painful. We continued to date right up until he left, and when he did leave, I was just fine.

THE MISSION
Cob and I wrote consistently while he was serving a mission, although I was dating at the same time. I came close to having an exclusive relationship once or twice, but something always seemed to go wrong. I just never dated anyone I liked as well as Cob! He worked hard on his mission. I could tell through his letters that it wasn’t always easy, but his heart was always in it and the Lord was always with him. We would talk occasionally about the future but it was always vague. Neither of us wanted to be distracting and neither of us really knew what would happen when he came home.

HOMECOMING, ENGAGEMENT, AND MARRIAGE
Cob came home in December and I was soooooooooo happy. We eased back into a relationship over Christmas break and then headed to BYU for winter semester. We talked about marriage soon after he got home, but it really wasn’t until February that I knew I wanted to marry him. That decision was easy for me because I knew what kind of person Cob was and I knew what kind of person I wanted to marry and those two things matched up perfectly. It only seemed natural for us to get married after caring so much for each other for so long. My closest sister, Abby was (is) on a mission until August so I didn’t want to get married until she got back. We got engaged in April (on my birthday even, because Cob is the most thoughtful person in the entire world) and we’ve been waiting since then to tie the knot!

Love, Rebecca

CAUGHT LIVING THE GOSPEL

"When He comes, I so want to be caught living the gospel. I want to be surprised right in the act of spreading the faith and doing something good. I want the Savior to say to me: “Jeffrey”—because He knows all of our names—“I recognize you not by your title but by your life, the way you are trying to live and the standards you are trying to defend. I see the integrity of your heart. I know you have tried to make things better first and foremost by being better yourself, and then by declaring my word and defending my gospel to others in the most compassionate way you could.”

“I know you weren’t always successful,” He will certainly say, “with your own sins or the circumstances of others, but I believe you honestly tried. I believe in your heart you truly loved me.”

Jeffrey R. Holland, Israel, Israel, God is Calling

WEDDING STRESS

Planning a wedding is stressful. Everybody always says this, and up until now, I didn’t really think it was true. I like taking pictures and choosing colors and testing cake flavors. I feel like I have been able to plan my perfect wedding with just a little bit of research, creativity, and hard work.

And I really haven’t been bridezilla . . . until now.

Cob, My mom, and I sent our invitations this week. I put a lot of time into the design and printing of the invitations, and for whatever reason, they were REALLY stressing me out. I was obsessing over every little detail and it was terrible. I got mad at the lady at Kinkos for cutting the invitations crookedly, then I got mad at my mom for buying the wrong type of envelopes and then I got mad at Cob for not putting the stamp close enough to the corner. It was that bad. Even though I knew I was being crazy and irrational, I couldn’t stop. I was freaking out over nothing, and I was making everyone miserable, including myself.

Today, after the invitations had been sent and I could breathe a little, I decided to read about stress from a gospel perspective and figure out what I can do so I don’t explode again.

I read this article from the Ensign, which was very insightful. Elder Anderson classifies stress into three different categories: the stress of sin, worldly stress, and the stress of refining ourselves. I knew immediately that my worries could be classified as worldly stress, meaning they are just temporal troubles. Car payments, taxes, and wedding invitations are necessary details of life, but they are only temporary. Elder Anderson gave this suggestion for dealing with these tasks when they seem to be taking over. He said to make a list of all your temporal concerns and then tell yourself, “A man running for his life would never notice something like this” and then cross out any items that don’t pass the running-for-your-life test. I wouldn’t notice the crooked border on my invitations if I were running for my life, and so I need to let it go. There are other things and other people in my life that matter so much more.

I also loved what Elder Anderson said about the stress of refining ourselves. He compared the process of developing our talents and strengthening our weaknesses to walking through the wilderness, like so many individuals and groups in the scriptures. He said, “Many scriptures extend a call to leave the world behind spiritually and enter a figurative wilderness: “Come out from among them, and be ye separate.” (2 Cor. 6:17.) “Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.” (James 4:4.) “Forsake the world.” (D&C 53:2.) The people of Zion—the Lord’s people—will live a higher standard, a more fulfilling life. But as we look to that goal, we will inevitably see in ourselves the need to improve.” He said that as we struggle to improve ourselves, we will all fall short and feel discouraged. I think that’s how I was feeling last night after having a melt down over the wedding invitations. I knew I could have handled things better, but I didn’t and it was frustrating and embarrassing. The scriptures tell us that the solution to this is to endure to the end, to have hope for the future, and to keep faith in yourself and the ability of the Lord to help you overcome your weaknesses. Elder Anderson says that enduring is a way to learn patience and increase our eternal perspective and strengthen our testimony. The stress in our life will not go away, but we can remember what’s important and have greater peace and joy.

I know that wedding planning can be crazy, but I really am grateful for this time in my life and I’m going to make a greater effort to enjoy the process rather than getting bogged down by the details.

Love, Rebecca

ORDINARY PEOPLE

“There are no ordinary people.

You have never talked to a mere mortal.

Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat.

But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.

This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn.

We must play.

But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously—no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.

And our charity must be real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner—no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment.

Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.”

C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

MIRACLES

I just got back from a 10-day trip to Mexico with my extended family. I had the most amazing time playing in the ocean, lounging in the pool, and catching up with all the relatives I don’t see very often. My fiancé, Cob, wasn’t able to come because he had to work so we could take a honeymoon later this year. I missed him so much, but because he wasn’t there, I was able to spend some quality alone time with my journal and scriptures and some really good books.

One of the books I read was called 20 Real-life Miracles. It might sound like a “chicken noodle soup for the soul” type book, and it totally was. I read it at the pool and I was crying within the first 10 minutes. The book told the true stories of real people who had experienced miracles of one type or another. The first miracle was the story of a woman named Judy who was injured on the first day of her honeymoon. She hit some rocks cliff jumping and was paralyzed from the waist down. Her doctor told her that she should keep her money away from people who promised “miracles” because her condition was not likely to change and there were lots of scams promising healing when it wasn’t possible. Judy was devastated and she entered into a period of deep depression and discouragement. After several months of trying to adjust to life in a wheelchair, Judy’s husband asked if he could give her name to a non-denominational prayer group and see if it helped. She was reluctant to put her faith in anything but because they weren’t asking for money, she agreed. Judy and her husband visited the prayer group to participate in the prayer for her, and while they were praying, Judy said that she was completely overwhelmed by the love of the prayer group and her husband and the love of God. She remembered how lucky she was to have someone to take care of her, the use of other parts of her body, and medicine to make her more comfortable. When the prayer was over, Judy knew she had experienced a miracle. Her legs weren’t healed—she was still confined to the wheelchair—but her heart was made whole. She was able to find happiness in her life that she had neglected before and her faith in God was restored.

I loved this story because of the principles it teaches.

1. The greatest miracles are the ones inside of us. Judy’s miracle wasn’t physical, it was spiritual. When she remembered her blessings and her faith, her heart was healed and her life was filled with joy.

2. We can have miracles if we ask for them. In Judy’s case, she knew her disability was irreversible. But that didn’t stop her for asking for a miracle. And she got it, even if it wasn’t in the way that she expected.

3. Miracles depend on our attitude. Judy could have seen her experience as a failure, because she wasn’t able to get up from her wheelchair. But she chose to see her experience as a miracle and her whole life was changed because of it.

4. Prayer works. So many times we think that our lives are stuck in one direction and we forget that we can pray for change and we can pray for miracles and that those things really work.

5. Everything is a miracle. When Judy looked at her husband and the hundreds of strangers who loved her and prayed for her to be healed, she realized what a miracle that was and how blessed she had already been. I think it’s the same way for us. When I look back on my life, I can see how many miracles have taken place for me. Being in college, getting married to the man that I love, being able to worship the way I want to—all of those things are miracles if I will open my eyes to see them.

The whole book was amazing, but Judy’s story really touched me and inspired me to be more aware of miracles in my life and to have a better attitude towards the miracles I am given. I’m going to pray more so I can access more of the blessings Heavenly Father has in store for me.

Love, Rebecca

THIS BLOG

Hi! I’m Rebecca. The worst part about starting a blog is the very first post. I don’t know where to start, so I guess I’ll start at the beginning.

*deep breath*

I have had several blogs dedicated to different things in my life. Things I’m working on in school and at work and at home, and I write them more for the public than for myself. I want this blog to be different. I’m getting married in 6 weeks (!!!!!) and I’m trying to fill my life with light not only to prepare for marriage but also for my personal development. So I'm making this blog to document that journey. I’m just writing it for myself, and maybe one day I will share it with the people I love.

I’m inspired by this scripture in Alma 36:20 that says,
“And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!”

I’m going to fill my life with light so that my soul can be filled with joy.

Love, Rebecca