WEDDING STRESS

Planning a wedding is stressful. Everybody always says this, and up until now, I didn’t really think it was true. I like taking pictures and choosing colors and testing cake flavors. I feel like I have been able to plan my perfect wedding with just a little bit of research, creativity, and hard work.

And I really haven’t been bridezilla . . . until now.

Cob, My mom, and I sent our invitations this week. I put a lot of time into the design and printing of the invitations, and for whatever reason, they were REALLY stressing me out. I was obsessing over every little detail and it was terrible. I got mad at the lady at Kinkos for cutting the invitations crookedly, then I got mad at my mom for buying the wrong type of envelopes and then I got mad at Cob for not putting the stamp close enough to the corner. It was that bad. Even though I knew I was being crazy and irrational, I couldn’t stop. I was freaking out over nothing, and I was making everyone miserable, including myself.

Today, after the invitations had been sent and I could breathe a little, I decided to read about stress from a gospel perspective and figure out what I can do so I don’t explode again.

I read this article from the Ensign, which was very insightful. Elder Anderson classifies stress into three different categories: the stress of sin, worldly stress, and the stress of refining ourselves. I knew immediately that my worries could be classified as worldly stress, meaning they are just temporal troubles. Car payments, taxes, and wedding invitations are necessary details of life, but they are only temporary. Elder Anderson gave this suggestion for dealing with these tasks when they seem to be taking over. He said to make a list of all your temporal concerns and then tell yourself, “A man running for his life would never notice something like this” and then cross out any items that don’t pass the running-for-your-life test. I wouldn’t notice the crooked border on my invitations if I were running for my life, and so I need to let it go. There are other things and other people in my life that matter so much more.

I also loved what Elder Anderson said about the stress of refining ourselves. He compared the process of developing our talents and strengthening our weaknesses to walking through the wilderness, like so many individuals and groups in the scriptures. He said, “Many scriptures extend a call to leave the world behind spiritually and enter a figurative wilderness: “Come out from among them, and be ye separate.” (2 Cor. 6:17.) “Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.” (James 4:4.) “Forsake the world.” (D&C 53:2.) The people of Zion—the Lord’s people—will live a higher standard, a more fulfilling life. But as we look to that goal, we will inevitably see in ourselves the need to improve.” He said that as we struggle to improve ourselves, we will all fall short and feel discouraged. I think that’s how I was feeling last night after having a melt down over the wedding invitations. I knew I could have handled things better, but I didn’t and it was frustrating and embarrassing. The scriptures tell us that the solution to this is to endure to the end, to have hope for the future, and to keep faith in yourself and the ability of the Lord to help you overcome your weaknesses. Elder Anderson says that enduring is a way to learn patience and increase our eternal perspective and strengthen our testimony. The stress in our life will not go away, but we can remember what’s important and have greater peace and joy.

I know that wedding planning can be crazy, but I really am grateful for this time in my life and I’m going to make a greater effort to enjoy the process rather than getting bogged down by the details.

Love, Rebecca